Plenty of Flesh in the Sea
Oh hiiiii! We hear you're interested in joining the new dating website for creatures of the night: Love Bites. We think it's great you're finally willing to get out and meet some new people. Lately, you've just been laying around your coffin all day, binge-watching your favorite shows. A little nocturnal fresh air will do you some good. But...can we give you some advice? Put a little thought into your profile picture. Too often we see perfectly respectable goblins, ghosts, and skeletons post terrible selfies or pics with their exes in them (DON'T do this!). So, we're going to help you because, hey, we're feeling generous and you seem like a genuinely terrible enough guy. Wear this Dreadful Vampire Men's Costume and it pretty much won't matter what you do in your profile photo, you're going to look sharp!
Seriously, are you noticing those matches just pop up left and right? Yeah, you're welcome. We can't believe you were going to post that one in the tank top holding a fish! Good thing you have us, right?
Fun Details
Yes, we definitely recommend you wear this look on your first dates, as well. Those witches and sorceresses have high standards! Luckily, you look dapper in this outfit's fitted long coat of deep, blood-red and black velvet. You have a vest and ascot that come along with it, as well, so you won't even have to worry about accessorizing on your own. Polish your canines and powder that pasty complexion, pal, because it's time to go all-out tonight in the name of blood-curdling love. Oh, and don't forget your pants. They aren't included.
Bite Right
So when the right gal (or ghoul) finally Bites Right on you, you won't need to fret about that first meeting. Sure, dating is hard, even for a vampire. But staying in your coffin and flying solo forever won't be easy, either. Good luck! Not that you need it.
Fun
